You start life amassing friends and then sometime around 30 you realize almost everyone you know is an oxygen thief and your circle gets smaller and smaller and smaller until eventually you re an angry old man sitting on a front porch in the middle of nowhere with a shotgun on your lap yelling at kids to get off your damn lawn, because even though kids are awesome, you know they will eventually grow up to be worthless people just like everyone else.

This is probably the point where I should tell you I ve been listening to a lot of Johnny Cash and Trent Reznor lately.

Anyway, the only way I get through the day is with copious amounts of caffeine and hate. Try it. It works.

I hate most people. The others I just haven t met yet.